THE YAOI INVASION!
by ShadowDaisuke
Summary: 3 boys are trapped to fight off hordes of yaoi fangirls, will they survive? Dawn of the Deadyaoi bashing inspired me to write this
1. First victim

**THE YAOI INVASION**

**Inspired by Well Zenn**

"Your fanficton is teh worst peace of stupid ever! Kagome is so zutpid! XO! Inuasha detherzes to Narauku! H0w cna u not admint they aren't thuper cawwii tgether XP!11!1 Theyre make for eac othe! lolrofl rofwaffle, chek oyt my fanftion! It supr funny ! I try to be random and funny, and i get good reviews from people saying ''LOL AWESEOM!11! KILL TEH NON YAOI FANFICS1!11! ZING HEIL!" Oh yeah, and fuck Well Zenn for telling the truth! Als--"

That's all that that Jack was able to read. He narrowed his eyes at his monitor until he wore out the two buttons, alt and f4. "What a bunch of dykes." He whispered to himself as he continued to browse around the fanfiction website, looking for a non-yaoi fanfiction in the inyuyasha section. "Fuck it, it's impossible to find one with out hot yaoi sex0rs in it." He switched to the Kingdom Hearts section and began to read the titles.

"KINGDOMZ HEART: BOAT TRP!1!

Summary: PRETEND THYAT KH NEVER HAPPENED! PRETEND THAT KAIRI DIED AND SORA AND RIKU GET TOGETHER SAME WITH CLOUD AND SEPHIROTH (I MEAN CMON! YOU CAN TELL THEY LOVE EACHOTHER! CANT YOU!) BUT WHAT IF A NEW BOY COMES ON A CRUISE WITH THEM AND SORA STARTS FALLING FOR HIM! SOKU CLRTH THIS IS ONLY MY 38TH FANFICTION SO BE EASY ON M3!"

"What the hell, she didnt say that they went on a boat!" Jack exlaimed, holding back the urge to bitch slap his computer.

He opened up wordpad and started to write his straight fanfiction of Kingdom Hearts 3, with no romance or anything, just a story. It's been on the website for about 2-3 months now and has only gotten 2 reviews. and that boat trp!1! one already has 34, and theyre all the same "KEEPZ RIGHTING! IT'S KAWWI ! HERE HAVE A COOKIE! shoves a cookie down your throat SEE, I CAN BE FUNNY! I JUST MADE THE COOKIE THING UP! ISNT IF FUNY! TTYL!"

He finished his chapter and uploaded it on the fanfiction website. "Wait...ok..like..now..like...go on the...wait...ok...now like browse for your...like...file..I guess..and press...I think ok..." He followed the directions and uploaded the file.

He clicked on the story and added the file, then decided to try and find a straight fanfiction. "Ah, Evangelion, it's great that it only has one bioshounen character..."

"Title: EVANGLON! 2! AFER MATH!

Summary: 3RD MPCT HAPPNED AND SHINJI MEATS A BOY SURVIVOR! HILARTIY INSUES "

"No...oh my sweet jesus no...they've gotten to evangelion!"

He pulled on the cabinet handel next to his computer and flung it out with amazing force. Inside was a 9mm pistol, he pulled it out in a swift motion and put the muzzle of the gun in his mouth. He bit down and pulled the trigger.

"What's the situation doctor?"

"He's been shot!"

"Yes, I know that."

"We can tell by the gun in his hand!"

"Yes, I know, how is he?"

"What?"

"I said how is he, how is my son? Is he gonna be alright?"

"What? Oh god no. Omg noes, hes fucked up, brain and liek blood sprayed all over our car."

"NO! MY SON!"

"And his liver exploded the second we cut him open, we had to jam the knife through his adams apple to retrieve his tounge."

"Stop it! Just stop it!"

"OMG, do u go on a website where you get to write!"

"..."

"Ive ritten stories their!"

"...''

"U SHOULD CHECK IT OUT!"

The Yaoi Invasion has begun...and there's no stopping it.

BRING ON THE FLAMES! Next chapter we'll see the main characters, and it will eventually become a zombie fanfiction but instead its with yaoi fangirls D, because we all know they cant run!


	2. The ravalation

**THE YAOI INVASION**

**"Let god have mercy on my enemies, for I wont." That cannot be more true then the truth of yaoi...**

CHAPTER 2: The Ravalation

Tyler sat watching the news, George Bush seemed to have molested a goat in his basement while being video taped by Wynoa Rider.

"Why the fuck would they then broadcast it on channel 3? Isn't that supposed to be a Christian network?" James flopped down on the vomit-brown couch and stealing the remote from the broken table.

"Hell, Id watch nuns get fucked by school teachers any day." Patrick said, coming out of the bathroom after his daily wanking to his hentai-pictures.

"Ok, one, most nuns ARE teachers, and two, NUNS ARE FUCKING CATHOLIC! YOU DUMBFUCK!" Tyler screamed.

"DONT SCREAM AT ME!" Patrick yelled with tears in his eyes.

"Hey, Tyler, what the hell's up with your tv?"

"Huh? Nothings wrong with my---what in the name of fucking hot pockets.."

The tv started to flicker, swirls of color circled the tv before the static cleared, showing a pimple-faced girl with a half-top that was molded into her fat-asian skin.

"OH JESUS! MY VIRIGN EYES!" Patrick screamed, falling to the floor, clutching his eyes with his hands with blood seeping through the cracks.

"ATT3NTION 3VRYONE! Upper score lower slash upper score! TDAY IS A RAVALTION! WE MUT STOOP TEH YOLI HAT3RS FR0M BSHING ARE YAOI! Less than capital "X" capital "P"! EVRYONE DECNT SITICEN STAND UP AND STO TEH IGNORNT FUCKTRDS FROM SAYING YAOIS BAD, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, KILL ALL TEH HA3RS! EQUAL SIGN CAPITAL "D"!

"Is she talking about yaoi-fangirls?" Tyler said, squinting at the tv screen to try and make out the fat peices of skin that made her face.

"What the hell is a yaoi?"

"It's the falling of man..." Patrick said in a dark and serious voice, the blood seeping from his eye sockets.

"Dude...are you alright?" James asked, half concerned half scared.

"No..I am not alright, the revolution has begun of yaoi."

"What are you talking about?..." Tyler said standing up, becoming scared.

"They've been plotting this since 2001, when Gravitation came to America. It gave them an oppertunity to show that there is a real gay romance in yaoi, instead of all the "hints" that two male characters in DBZ were in love, even though there was no proof."

"Jesus..." James whispered.

"Now...Wel Zenn must have pissed them off so much that they actually got their fat asses off the couch and did something...SOMETHING YOU GUYS!"

"Well, there cant be to many of them." Patrick whispered, trying to lighten the mood.

Patrick walked over to him sternly.

"Hundreds of millions of thousands of billions of trillions of them..."

"My god.."

"We need to find shelter." Tyler said, getting up and locking the door.

"They'll break through..." Patrick whispered.

"KKYYYYAAA!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Tyler's fatass sister whos been in her room for months came at them with a katana.

"LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!" She swung the katana at them, luckily she only moved about 2 inches since they saw her due to her physique.

"Quick! Kill her!" James yelled.

"Im on it!" Tyler yelled and picked up the lamp and sprinted towards her. He held the lamp over his head high before coming down in a climactic crash. The lamp split her head open, sending blood flying into the air as she fell to the ground in a heap of fat shit.

Tyler got to his knees and started bashing her head open even more, fragmenting her skull into peices and flying onto his clothes. "THIS IS FOR KINGDOM HEARTS! THIS IS FOR NARUTO! THIS IS FOR EVANGELION! THIS IS FOR AREA 88! THIS IS FOR FULL METAL ALCHEMIST!" He continued his rant until her heard loud gasping outside of his house.

"What the fuck! ZOMBIES!" James screamed backing up against the wall.

"No...theyre just fat yaoi fangirls." Patrick said walking to the window. Several overweight diabetics were roaming the streets, there puss-filled eyes were glazed from the amount of vagina juice squrited on them while writing their fanfiction.

The gasping for air became louder, they hadnt moved in months, and were so fat that the littlest amount of exercise made them exhausted.

"We have to go!" Tyler screamed, running towards the back door, flinging it open, the sky was blood red, the blood of all their victims.

James and Patrick followed behind and went into his backyard. They leaped over the wooden fence and ran down the street. Tyler still had the lamp, James grabbed a butter-knife on the way out, and Patrick grabbed a trash-can lid just then. The yaoi fangirls turned to them, groaning "Ignorant idiots!...lawl...lawl...lawl." They formed a big fat circle around them.

"Tyler! What are we going to do!" James whined

Tyler narrowed his eyes.

"We fight."

...lawl


	3. Running

**THE YAOI INVASION**

**Thanks to all the reviews :D! It was great reading them, and you are the ones that inspire me to write, dont review? I keep writing, and this wasn't meant to be for yaoi fangirls, it was meant for people who are sick of yaoi, so all the yaoi fangirls shouldn't even read this? Should they? Also, since it only took a day for my story to get deleted, its going to be toned down a bit, and only focus on their survival of yaoi fangirls, with the occasional swear word or 2. ALSO IF YOU LIKE YAOI AND ARE EASILY OFFENDED THAN DON'T READ THIS! IM SICK OF PEDOS LIKE THAT...uh...green whatever his name was, trying to tell me what to do, PS thanks for the PM, it was really retarded, and I dont like old men staring at my entire profile, thanks. **

**Chapter 3:**

"We fight? With what? All we have is a butter knife, a trash can lid, and a hula-lamp. How can we fight them?"

"I agree with Patrick, Tyler. I mean, look at how slow they're moving!" James shouted, pointing to the slow moving fangirls, their arms outstretched and the constant gasping for more butter.

"You're right, c'mon, let's go!" Tyler shouted. He skid on the asphault as he started to run between the fangirls, who were to exhausted to find them. James and Patrick followed behind closely, Patrick managed to bash one of the fangirls head with his trash can lid on the way.

They found themselves running into a dark alley, the blood of fangirls stained their faces. "Alright...I think we lost most of them."

"My god! Their are millions of them!" James whined, dropping his blood-stained butter-knife.

"We cannot fight them all..." Patrick whispered, his trash-can lid was bent from from the amount of killing he was doing.

"We need to find some place to hide..." Tyler gasped as he sat down, his back leaning up against the wall.

"It's impossible to hide from yaoi, whatever crack they see, they can exploit beyond belief..before..."

"Before what?" James asked, wide-eyed.

"Before they start cosplaying with them..."

"No...no! That can't be true! That can't be true!" James yelled frantically.

"Sshh! Keep your voice down!" Tyler exclaimed, all his weight leaning against the stained brick wall. The sounds of the yaoi fangirls 'lawl' calls were getting louder.

"We have to go, right now!" Patrick gasped, whiping the sweat off his forehead. They all stood up and ran down the grease-filled alleyway.

"Hey Tyler, I just thought of something, where are we going?" James panted as they ran along in the back alleys of town to avoid detection.

"Haven't you ever seen Dawn of the Dead? We're going to the mall you idiot!" Tyler yelled at him.

"Oh Jesus..." Patrick whispered.

"What? Oh, crap!" There was a disembered body lying in a pool of it's own blood, a large and deep gash was spread along the top of his head while puss started to form around it.

A gun was rested in his hands, and as Patrick inspected the body some more, there was a hole under his chin.

"The poor man must have shot himself..." Patrick whispered.

Tyler kneeled and grabbed the pistol from the man's limp, cold, hand.

He looked at the .45 and whispered quietly. "This is it Tyler...this is what all those hours of playing C-S-S were for.."

"All right, let's go." James said to himself quietly before he ran down the dark alley.

They ran across the street, the fangirls close on their heels. Tyler conserved ammo by just beating the crap out of them with his pistol.

"Oh Jesus!" Patrick shrieked.

Tyler turned around to see a fangirl wrapping her arms around James. She was gasping for air, french fry grease dripped off her twelve chins.

"OH MY GOD! IT SMELLS LIKE WEEK OLD VOMIT STUFFED IN A PIGS DEAD STOMACH WHILE BEING THROWN ON BY HORSE MANURE!"

The fangirl tried to bite James, but her chins blocked her from doing so.

Tyler outstretched his arms and lined the cross-hairs on her large fat head. He slowly squeezed the trigger, his hand whipping back over his head instantly.

Her head fragmented into blood, brain, and gore, spewing the substance all over the already puss stained lawn. She fell to the ground with a _thump_, a slowly forming pool of choclate brown blood formed around her head, her eyes glazed, and she threw up french fries for the very-last-time.

Tyler's hand ached from the whiplash of the gun, and he let one hand go so he could shake it.

"C'mon! We have to get to the mall!" Patrick yelled, James looked scared and disturbed, he was pale and they could all tell he would be scarred for life being that close to a yaoi fangirl. Being that close to one is just...more horrible than you can possible imagine...

"C'mon James, we have to go." Tyler whispered, stuffing the pistol into his pocket and grabbing James' arm.

"The sigh-smell..taste...it was horrible."

"I know, but after a few games of halo-2 lan, you'll be alright." Tyler whispered, concerned.

James nodded his head as a reply.

"Let's go."

(AN:) Alright, to answer some questions, the reason WHY I'm posting this on the Gravitation section is because thats where ALL the yaoi fangirls are. Oh yeah and Demonic whatever the fuck your name was, really mature, calling the writer a "dickface" and all when your only a few months older than me, and you say IM childish. Oh yeah, and PS, I read your fanfictions. 1) They're not funny. 2) You seem to have a posse of retards telling you to keep going. 3) Your review wasn't even a review, it was just a harmless flame that you made while you were cutting yourself and bitching on your myspace with 4 friends, Tom deleted you and the rest are webcam whores you found, dont worry, you dont have to be ashamed. And ever sense I've wrote this, before I had about 35 hits on my profile, no I have AROUND 275-300. Thanks for the support.

Would you like to bitch to me some more?

My myspace: http/ will be funny if all my friends see the true nature of the flamers


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